MLB Jam: NL Round 2

Sorry for the delay, folks. Let's pretend that it's because of...snowstorms! Yeah, that's it. No one could make it out to the court because there was just too much snow. Happens, y'know? In any event, let's get hoppin to make up for the delay. As always, games to 21, win by 2, 2's and 3's, call own fouls.

Game 1: (1) Los Angeles Dodgers vs. (9) Milwaukee Brewers
Players: Matt Kemp/Jon Broxton vs. Carlos Gomez/Yovani Gallardo


The famed OF/RHP combinations butt heads here, and like with the Brewers' first-round matchup, it really comes down to whether or not Carlos Gomez can use his speed to beat the burly Kemp/Broxton duo. Unfortunately, Kemp is far faster than Carlos Zambrano or Sean Marshall, and Jon Broxton...is a large man. Gallardo is effective from deep since Broxton can't close out on him, but Kemp shuts down Gomez and scores on a few sweet alley-oops. Dodgers win, 22-16.


Game 2: (4) St. Louis Cardinals vs. (12) Houston Astros
Players: Albert Pujols/Adam Wainwright vs. Michael Bourn/Evan Engelbrook


Oddsmakers loved the Cardinals before this one (what, what we have to make money off this somehow), by virtue of Mr. Pujols. But Michael Bourn had more success than Carlos Gomez with the speed game, since Matt Kemp is more fleet of foot than Pujols. The 6'9'' Engelbrook held it down on the blocks, blocking Wainwright time and time again, and a cold streak from Pujols saw his team down double digits early. But they came roaring back on the strength of a few three-pointers and timely boards to tie the game at 19. All the momentum was on the Cards' side...until Bourn crossed Pujols out of his shoes and hit a pretty finger roll for the shocking clincher. Astros win, 21-19.


Game 3: (3) Colorado Rockies vs. (11) San Diego Padres
Players: Dexter Fowler/Greg Reynolds vs. David Eckstein/Kyle Blanks


The Padres established themselves as a duo that was not to be trifled with in the wake of their 6/11 upset, and things started well for them again when Eckstein dove for consecutive loose balls and hit Blanks in the post for a quick four points. It was then that the Rockies realized the key to beating the Padres was simply to not let the ball hit the ground, thereby denying Eckstein the chance to show off his grit and determination. The Padres would never score again, and Greg Reynolds scored the last point after yo-yoing the ball over Eckstein's head like a cat toy. Because Greg's a dick. Rockies win, 21-4.


Game 4: (10) Cincinnati Reds vs. (2) Philadelphia Phillies
Players: Danny Ray-Herrera/Willy Taveras/Chris Sabo vs. Shane Victorino/Ryan Howard


The weirdness continues for the Reds, who, as you may remember, were forced to play sans Taveras and plus Sabo last round. Oddly, this worked, but after some hushed discussions and a few dollars changing hands, it was ruled that Sabo was ineligible as well, since he's as much a Red as Taveras. So Dr. H (get it??) had to go it alone, which wouldn't be so bad if he weren't 5'6'' in his Reebok Pumps (he's an old school doctor). Victorino and Howard make short work of the minute medicine man, but let's all consider it a victory for him that Herrera managed to throw one down over Howard's head. Sure, he was on Victorino's shoulders, but it was still touching. Phillies win, 21-2.


Well now if you don't think that was thrilling, you don't have a pulse. Never mind the fact that losing teams scored a combined 6 points in the last two games, if you don't mind - what matters is that we're down to the Elite 8 (trademarked? No? Good.) (but if it is, don't tell us). Not long to go now, folks! Allow us to play you out with the updated bracket: