Season Preview: Los Angeles Angels

Well we've got 17 days left until Opening Day, which means it's season preview time. We'll be running it down team by team, with an added new wrinkle this time around: the beer of choice for fans of the team to enjoy whilst watching their team take the field! Nothing like that to help get you through a baseball season, especially if you're from Pittsburgh. Up next: the Los Angeles Angels.


Lineup: This is a pretty solid group. There are three major question marks by our estimate: Juan Rivera, Brandon Wood, and Hideki Matsui. Rivera struggled to recover from a broken leg a few seasons ago, and hasn't been the same hitter since; Wood has been one of the preeminent AAA sluggers for years now and is finally getting a starting shot, and Matsui, even as a DH, has done little to prove that he can be healthy for a full season. As for the rest, the Angels are stronger up the middle than most teams, with the bats of Mike Napoli, Erick Aybar, Howie Kendrick, and Torii Hunter all above average for their respective positions. Cuban defector Kendry Morales broke out last season putting up MVP-caliber numbers, and should remain a middle-of-the-order force, and Bobby Abreu can probably be counted on for a nice OBP and some steals if he's got anything left in his legs. Reggie Willits is a nice fourth outfielder who can step in for either Abreu or Rivera if they underperform; Willits has plus speed and knows how to take a walk.


Rotation: There's nothing wrong with the rotation, per se. There's just not much in the way of clear greatness or depth. Jered Weaver is the nominal ace, and he's very good, but he's not exactly the sort of bro you want being your #1 starter. Scott Kazmir showed signs of regaining his 2006 form after being traded to Los Angeles, and if he can find his slider again, he could be a force...but we don't count on that. Joel Pineiro, the guy they signed ostensibly to replace departed ace John Lackey, showed that he can burn worms with the best of them last season, and is super stingy with the walks. He might suffer a bit coming over to the AL, but he should be comfortably above average nonetheless. Ervin Santana has been a mystery for years now, boasting bizarre splits - if he pitches at home, at night, he's flat-out dominant, but put him on the road during the day and he's back of the rotation fodder - but he'll be 27 and is only one year removed from garnering minor Cy Young consideration. Then there's Joe Saunders, whom we have no faith in (strikes out too few, walks too many). That's it. Five guys. And, no, none of the trio of Sean O'Sullivan, Matt Palmer, or Jose Ortega count as actual depth here. 


Bullpen: The Angels let Francisco Rodriguez walk before last season and replaced him with Brian Fuentes. Which was an unmitigated disaster. Fuentes was awful yet somehow, some way, managed to compile a league-leading save total. Oh, wait, we know why: it's because being The Closer and getting Saves has little-to-no bearing on your actual talent. Silly us. Anyway, they signed Fernando Rodney - somehow extracting him from the Metrodome mound - to be the setup man, but Rodney's not very good either. So you've got two Closers at the back end of the 'pen, but neither are very good. They do have Scot Shields, who's very good and one of the most consistent relievers we've ever seen, but he lost the 2009 season with arm and knee troubles, and is hardly a sure thing at this point. Beyond him, guys like Jason Bulger and Kevin Jepsen are decent enough, we suppose. And they have another Francisco Rodriguez coming up! So that's exciting! All told, though, this is a pretty weak group.


Overall: If this team stays healthy, they could be contenders in a suddenly-stacked AL West. They can hit from top to bottom, with depth up the middle and in the outfield, and their five starters should at least keep them in games, if not outright win them. But if any of the starters go down with an injury - or Joel Pineiro regresses, and Ervin Santana fails to improve - then there's going to be serious trouble on the pitching side. This team isn't tremendous in the field, and will need their pitchers to be sharp in order to build safe enough leads for the shaky bullpen to hold. Can they do so? Sure. After all, the Angels have been outperforming expectations for years, now. It's some weird sort of voodoo they've got, or something. But we think this is the year it stops.


Predicted Record: 86-76, 2nd place AL West


Beer: Stone's Arrogant Bastard Ale. Not that Mike Scioscia or Tony Reagins are bastards, mind you, but it takes a certain arrogance to run this team the way that the Angels do. Scioscia has them stealing bases like it's their job (it kind of is), and Reagins has carried on the Bill Stoneman-bred tradition of keeping the team's prospects close to the vest, as if to say 'our guys are better than yours.' Arrogant? Sure. Has it worked, year after year? You bet. Excellent team, excellent beer.

Miscellaneous Spring Training Inanity: Exhibit A

We're on the record as being unhappy about the results of trying desperately to find a good storyline when there's no regular season to be had. Spring Training is somewhat of an exception to that line of thought, because it's the end of a long offseason, and we start to see our favorite players in uniform, and we have highlights of games, and it's exciting and hopeful. So we go out looking for little news articles here and there about what sort of interesting things are going on around the league...and we end up with reporting that is inconsequential at best and irresponsible at worst.

Now, far be it from us to decry the state of baseball writing when (a) there's not much going on of substance to write about, and (b) we've spent a substantial amount of time over the last like month imagining a 2-on-2 basketball tournament among MLBers. But still...we clicked over to espn.com for a brief baseball fix amidst studying, and found some articles that really ground our gears. What follows is what we hope becomes a regular feature: a fairly shameless ripoff of the FJM style of writing - i.e. find a dumb article and make fun of it. If you haven't already been there, shame on you, but check out www.firejoemorgan.com. They're not still active, but the archives are plenty of fun to sort though, and they're a fairly big influence on us, so we recommend the site wholeheartedly. Anyway, in their spirit, let's get to the fisking! Columnists' words are in bold; we're in regular font. Because, y'know, true to the roots!

Exhibit A: A Scratch-less Fivesome, by Jerry Crasnick

What does that even mean, you might ask? Well, if you've read any number of Spring Training articles, you might know that it's about that whitest of all sports...

Golf was a wonderful bonding ritual for Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and John Smoltz in Atlanta

So there you go. A shoehorned-at-best headline that immediately leads into a comparison of the best rotation in modern times. Surely the Angels will be so gifted, yes?

Bridging the fashion gap in the clubhouse might be their biggest challenge.

Well, never mind the improved Mariners and Rangers lineups. And the generally stiff competition in the American League. Or, hell, MLB hitters in general. 

[Joe] Saunders, a 2-handicapper, brought his sartorial A-game to the park. Before dressing for Wednesday's workout, he took a retina-searing ensemble of electric chartreuse shirt and blue plaid pants with gold stripes and hung it in front of his locker.

We don't actually know what chartreuse is, but we're fairly sure that if Jerry Crasnick says it's retina-searing, then the pitchers should probably not look. Their jobs may be at stake!

When Lackey signed a five-year, $82.5 million contract with Boston, the dynamic suddenly changed. If you gave the Angels a buck every time they've heard that the team now lacks a true No. 1 starter, it would cover a lot of $2 Nassaus. 

We don't actually know what a Nassau is, but why pick that as the reference? And, yes, we're too busy to simply Google this business. But it's because most of our time is spent wondering why Mr. Crasnick is writing an article about how the Angels rotation will be better because their best pitcher left and they don't have a replacement. If you're an Angels fan, we hope Nassau is alcoholic. And if it is, rest assured it will go in your season preview around these parts.

"For me, it's not, 'You're the No. 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5.' It's about winning. Period," [pitching coach Mike] Butcher said. "I don't want our guys focused on getting 200 innings. I want them getting 33 starts and trying to win 33 games. That's their mindset."

"For me, it's like, all these guys aren't especially good so we just hope they stay healthy enough to provide some value. And, oh, did I mention that we're going to play 3 extra games this season?"

One thing the Angels have is variety. The rotation consists of three righties and two lefties, Kazmir and Saunders. Weaver is a rangy 6-foot-7, 205 pounds, while Kazmir, listed at 6-feet, 190, is the most compact pitcher of the group.

Oh good! Variety! That'll help! Hitters will be baffled when they see Jered Weaver striking an imposing 6'7'' figure on the mound instead of that 6'0'' pipsqueak Kazmir. TOTALLY UNEXPECTED!

None of the five pitchers is as outwardly expressive as Lackey, whose bulldog bona fides were substantiated during a mound encounter with his manager during Game 5 of the American League Championship Series against the Yankees in October. When Lackey looked up and saw Scioscia coming out to pull him from the game, the TV cameras caught him mouthing an epithet and pleading several times, "This [game] is mine."

Well, fortunately for Mike Scioscia, his starters are apparently going to be lucky to get out of the fifth inning of any game anyway, so if they yell at him, no one will care. Plus, bulldogs are kind of terrifying sometimes. Who wants to deal with that? Not Mike Scioscia, we bet.

A Lackey supporter might have viewed the emotional display as a sign of competitiveness, but you could make the case that Lackey was also putting his manager in a bind. Even Saunders, a friend of Lackey, questioned whether the gesture was proper baseball etiquette.

"John might have known it was his last game as an Angel and he wanted to go out on a good note," Saunders said. "He was consistent -- he pretty much wore his emotions on his sleeve no matter what the game was.

"But you still have to respect the manager and his decision. I was brought up not to show any emotion on the field regardless of how I do or what happens. I might talk to [Scioscia] in the locker room afterwards. On the field, there's no place for that."

We know that was a long clip...but let's recap. In the paragraph before these three, Mr. Crasnick was all like "BULLDOG! YEAH!" and then in the next three 'graphs, the people he was interviewing were all like "Well, Lackey was kind of a dick, and we didn't really think he was in the right to yell at the manager for making the right decision." Conflict!

Kazmir feels invigorated in Anaheim for two reasons: He hooked on with a new trainer and made it through a killer workout regimen in Houston in the offseason; and he's reunited with Butcher, his former pitching coach in Tampa Bay.

Oh, so Kazmir is in The Best Shape Of His Life, you might say?? How delightfully cliche! Also, it's worth mentioning that Kazmir had steadily declined in Tampa Bay, to the point that they shipped him across the country to LA. But, hey, Mike Butcher!

"He'll benefit me a lot," Kazmir said. "He saw me when I was doing good, when I was feeling right and throwing the ball max effort. Now that he sees me throwing like a robot, he can take a step back and say, 'This is what you need to do. This is what I remember."'

Because if there's one good piece of advice to give to young pitchers with a history of arm troubles, it's 'throw max effort.'

"The only time you need a No. 1 guy is on Opening Day and for the playoffs." [Jered Weaver said.]

Yes, the playoffs. When John Lackey was leading the staff, the Angels came to expect they would be playing baseball deep into October every year. Just because he's on the opposite side of the country, don't expect that to change.

First of all, Mr. Crasnick, the focus of this article was how the team's best pitcher departed. Second of all, the best reasons you gave for their improving because of this was that (a) they have poor fashion choices (b) they drink lots of cheap drinks that we've never heard of (c) they vary in height from 6'0'' to 6'7'', and (d) Scott Kazmir is reunited with the guy whose philosophy of 'just throw the ball as hard as you can' led him to have a great season and then steadily decline into poor control and arm issues. 

And, third of all, the bit about Kazmir immediately preceded a paragraph about how Mike Scioscia is always coy about his #1 starter and that quote from Weaver about how they don't care who's #1. Fix your transitions, sir!

MLB Jam: AL Edition

Well, this started as a post that was going to compile information about all the arbitration-eligible players in the league, like what they were being offered/countering with, what they signed for, etc. After all, a lot happens very quickly around this time of year. But then we found out that the indispensable Cot's Baseball Contracts is already doing just that. Sometimes, we just don't know why we bother.

But in any event we went through the trouble of logging in here, so, hey, might as well write something, right? A couple of days ago, over at our other gig on MLB Notebook, we briefly tossed out the idea of creating an MLB version of NBA Jam - hence the goofy title of this post. At the time, we weren't really sure how such a thing would work. Should we pick the two guys who'd be best at hoops, or the most representative players of the team regardless of hooping ability? If we did consider basketball skills, was there any chance that we could avoid charges of racism*? Should we look at baseball skills?

*Short answer: certainly not. Longer answer: certainly not, but it's not like we've got an enormous readership clamoring for controversy.

With no real answer in sight, we decided that this was probably a pretty silly idea. But then!

Well, no, there is no but then! moment. We're still fairly sure this is a dumb idea. But we're going to try to play it relatively straight, and pick the two guys who we think would make for a decent 2-on-2 team from each team's 40-man roster. Will it work? Well, that's for you to decide.

AL East
Baltimore Orioles: Matt Wieters and Brian Matusz

• Sliced bread, of course, is the greatest thing since Matt Wieters, and if Matusz can toss entry passes like a baseball, this team could get by on some Stockton/Malone mojo. They'll be a bit 'tweener-sized, since both are 6'5'', but they might be a nice darkhorse.

Boston Red Sox: Jacoby Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia 

• The Sox are just not a very tall team - Dustin Richardson (whom we've never heard of ) is the tallest at 6'6''. So we're gonna go small ball with this team - Ellsbury's legs will play well at the point, and Pedroia seems like that annoying bastard at the Y who plays dirty and hits enough shots to feel secure in taunting everyone about it.

New York Yankees: Andrew Brackman and CC Sabathia

• Brackman is at least 6'10'' (he was listed at 7'0'' in the Cape Cod League) so he's a natural choice to be the big man for the Yankee squad. And have you ever seen a fat man play basketball who doesn't hit shots like it's his job? We haven't. And we're writing this. So there.

Tampa Bay Rays: Carl Crawford and Jeff Niemann

• Crawford gets the nod over the uber-athletic Desmond Jennings because he's got about 40 pounds on the guy. Niemann makes it because he's 6'9''. We also considered Matt Garza because of the aforementioned douche-factor that got Pedroia a spot, but we decided that Garza's more like the kind of guy that people on his own team resent during pickup games.

  Toronto Blue Jays: Jason Frasor and Mark Rzepczynski

• We know it looks like this team will suck. But Jason Frasor's brother, Bobby Frasor, is the point guard at North Carolina, and Rzepczynski has a first-rate fitness program. So all we're saying here is that this team could be a dark horse.

AL Central
Chicago White Sox: Brent Lillibridge and John Danks

• "Baby Face" Brent Lillibridge is on the team because he looks sort of incredibly fragile, so he'll be able to draw plenty of charging calls against the bigger, badder teams. Danks' brother, Jordan, is an excellent athlete in center field, so maybe big bro John was blessed with some of that, too. What we're saying is, it's slim pickings on this team.

Cleveland Indians: Fausto Carmona and Justin Masterson

• We're going big with these guys. Carmona, a 6'5'' sinkerballer, should be able to throw a mean bounce pass - assuming he doesn't miss wildly every time. Masterson's 6'6'', and that's literally the only reason we can think of to put him on here. But unless Shin-Soo Choo has some Jeremy Lin in him, we're sort of at a loss for the rest of these guys.

Detroit Tigers: Justin Verlander and Rick Porcello

• Couple of tall young guns here. We figure that since they're a pair of starting pitchers, they both spend plenty of their copious downtime with one another, and so have a good chemistry. Now let's all start pretending that "chemistry" has still never been used to settle an issue on this here blog.  

Kansas City Royals: Yuniesky Betancourt and Jason Kendall

• Sorry, but when a team is fielding two of the worst regular players in the league, they sort of have to be on the same team together. But, hey, at least Kendall has that Veteran Presence, eh? Let's just hope he doesn't break an ankle.

Minnesota Twins: Joe Mauer and Pat Neshek

• Sort of the same reasoning here as with the Orioles...what, exactly, can't Joe Mauer do? And would Pat Neshek's sidearm game translate to roundball? And has anyone ever won a game while listening to Livin' on a Prayer? Stay tuned!

AL West
Los Angeles Angels: Jered Weaver and Reggie Willits

• Weaver, at 6'7'', would be one of the tallest players in this silly little contest. Willits has himself a speedy pair of legs, and since the other choices were the oft-injured Howie Kendrick and old Bobby Abreu, we took Willits. Though it would be funny to watch Fernando Rodney repeatedly throw chest passes into the crowd...that is, if he's not still standing on the mound in the Metrodome.  

Oakland Athletics: Jack Cust and Jerry Blevins

• Cust's Three True Outcomes game at the plate clearly translates to the hardcourt like so: HR -> slam dunk; BB -> puppy two-footer; K -> missed three-pointer. Not the worst guy in the world to have on your team. Blevins is 6'6''. We're starting to see that size is something of a premium in MLB, so instead of going with the speedier Eric Patterson or Rajai Davis, we're gonna pick height. This is gonna be a plodding team, so for their sake, we may have to play half-court. 

Seattle Mariners: Milton Bradley and Franklin Gutierrez

• Would you want to foul Bradley and get him angry? That's what we thought. And Gutierrez - a.k.a. Death to Flying Things - would clearly pull down every rebound in sight, and probably block a few shots as well. 

Texas Rangers: Nelson Cruz and Elvis Andrus

• We're dipping into the defense theme again with Andrus, but Cruz is the real threat here. He's a stocky guy, at 230, but he's also got speed to burn, having stolen 20 bases last season. 

So there you have it. Feel free to let us know if you can think of better choices for any of the spots - we promise we won't be offended. Oh, and stay tuned for the NL version at some point in the near future. We hope.

Why Your Team Will Blow it in the Playoffs: Los Angeles Angels

Well, it appears that just about all the playoff spots are decided. Per the excellent coolstandings.com, no team among the Yankees, Red Sox, Tigers, Angels, Phillies, Cardinals, Dodgers, and Rockies have a great shot of making the playoffs barring a miraculous late season run.

Now, this lack of drama is no fun at all in September, and it's nigh-unacceptable in the playoffs. So rather than just let things play out like they will, which is to say "predictably," we're going to try to throw a wrench into the hopes and dreams of fans of each of the aforementioned playoff probables. Because none of them are the Braves*. AND SO: onward with the hating. Up next: the behaloed Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

*Believe you us, we fully realize that the Braves - and the Twins! - are only two games back at this point.  But, in the superstitious spirit of baseball, you can be sure we're not changing that intro unless one of those teams wrests control of a playoff spot away from the Rockies and/or Tigers.

Biggest Strength: The lineup.  This group scores a healthy 5.49 runs per game,  2nd most in MLB.  Kendry Morales would be a stealthy MVP candidate in any other year, with a hefty .303/.352/.565 line, and Torii Hunter finds himself rejuvenated this year to the tune of .297/.363/.507.  Catcher Mike Napoli* has posted a fine .832 OPS, and Bobby Abreu isn't far behind, with a .828 mark to go with what must be new legs that have allowed him to steal 29 bases at a 78% success rate.  

*Napoli, to us, is another confounding decision re playing time that the Angels have made.  For years, he and Jeff Mathis essentially had equal playing time, despite the fact that Napoli quickly proved himself a far, far more effective bat.  And,  of course, their glut of outfielders meant that the Angels had to find time at DH for some of those guys, further limiting one of their better young hitters.  But then, they have a history of doing such things.  Off the top of our head, we've got: Kendrick, Howie (play him while he's healthy, guys!); Izturis, Maicer (better than Erick Aybar, yet reduced to shared playing time); and Wood, Brandon (outlandishly good in the minors, never given a real chance to prove himself in the bigs).

The real strength of this unit, though, is not their big bats - it's their overall depth.  They don't have a lot of guys who seem particularly scary at the plate, but they are all effective.  Their .346 wOBA well outstrips the league average of .329, and their team batting average (don't yell at us!) is a tied-for-the-league-lead .285.  No one boasts a .400 OBP, but the team OBP is the 2nd highest in the league, and they only have three players clocking in under the league average of .333 - and of that three, Juan Rivera misses by .002 points, and Robb Quinlan just barely makes the 100 PA minimum (102).  Basically, it's hard to find such a balanced lineup among playoff contenders anywhere outside of New York.  

But wait a minute!

Sure, they can score...but they can't really prevent runs that well.  They allow 4.75 runs per game, which is 20th in MLB.  This is the lowest rank in either runs scored or runs allowed that any team in postseason contention (including the Braves and Twins) has posted.  And the reason is not too hard to find: beyond John Lackey, Jered Weaver, and maybe Kevin Jepsen and Darren Oliver, there simply have not been many good pitching performances this year.  The team ranks 12th in MLB in UZR, so defense isn't a real problem, but a 4.52 FIP that ranks 23rd in the league certainly is.  Among the starters, Lackey and Weaver both come in under 4.00 in FIP, but that's offset by the fact that Ervin Santana and Joe Saunders are both over 5.00.  Further, only Weaver ranks among the top 50 in SNLVAR.  And the problem extends past the rotation; they rank among the MLB's bottom 10 in K/9, HR/9, and WHIP.  Three of their relievers are allowing a full HR/9 or more; Sean Sullivan "boasts" a rather astounding 2.22 per 9.  Also, for what this is worth, the team's net WXRL is 9.02, or less than the combined work of Michael Wuertz and David Aardsma* alone.  

*Yes, we realize we're being somewhat mean-spirited here; both Wuertz and Aardsma are having fine seasons, and each possesses one of the best pitches in the game.  Wuertz's slider is absurdly unhittable (~50% whiff rate) and Aardsma has finally managed to control his overpowering (25.8% whiff rate) fastball.  But still.  

So, to recap: team can hit + team can't pitch = team will blow it (probably in remarkable fashion) in the playoffs.  Simple as that, folks.  For our money, the interesting thing about the Angels' postseason will be how they make the Red Sox look like the Big Red Machine in the first round of what is certain to be an inglorious October showing.